I won’t lie…

I’m not going to lie to you. It’s been hard. It’s been REALLY hard to be a single mom. This wasn’t in the plans! How do you prepare for this? There is no preparation, in my opinion. I was in a relationship with my best friend and it backfired on me. I ended up back at my mother’s house with a newborn son. I didn’t have two pennies to rub together. God finally kicked about 97% of the depression out of me because AJ really needed me to be strong for him.

Here we are, months later, and it’s still hard. I live off of my mom which is SO demeaning and shameful. She owns a small business and I work for her but I don’t really make much considering she supports her family of 3, my unstable older brother (sorry) and pays for my rent and all that. I’ve thought about getting a job but I couldn’t afford childcare if I wanted to. I’ve started selling AJ’s old clothes on Instagram and I made two sales so far but its slowed down. I expected that.

This is me venting. I don’t want to sound like a charity case because I don’t want to believe I am. I know I sound like a typical young mother who wasn’t nearly prepared for this. I guess I just want someone out there to know I’m trying. I’m trying my best to get out of this situation. It isn’t the worst situation but it certainly needs improvement. AJ deserves so much better than what I’m offering right now.

As God is my witness, I’m going to do better. I promise, AJ.

Signing off,

Your mother: distressed at almost 22 years old.

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