Sometimes I feel as if I’ve failed AJ because I chose a father for him who wasn’t ready to be a father. I want him to have that man in his life that he looks up to everyday, who loves him unconditionally and teaches him things that don’t make sense to me.

Granted, my brother’s around and so is my mother’s husband but they aren’t HIS father. They can’t ALWAYS be around.

I wonder how things got so bad between my ex and I that it had to come to this: being completely out of AJ’s life. What happened to my partner, my best friend, the plans we had together? What about our son? Doesn’t he deserve better?

It’s as if the world around me is happy and full of love and we’re missing a piece!

I do everything in my power so that AJ doesn’t feel that void but the day will come when I can’t anymore. To be honest, I don’t know what I’m going to do then.

Thank God for the good men out there, the fathers standing by their children, the boyfriends becoming husbands, the boys who BECAME men.

I’ll make sure to do my job right with my son since some moms just aren’t doing it anymore and then the rest of the world has to deal with them.


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